


life finds a way

by AsunaChinaDoll



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Awesome Pepper Potts, Bittersweet, Eloping, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Irondad, Irondad & Spiderson, Marriage, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Supportive May Parker (Spider-Man), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, give or take, i.e. the 5 years, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 20:30:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19047841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsunaChinaDoll/pseuds/AsunaChinaDoll
Summary: Tony Stark is a man that could say that he has lived it all. He’s had more than his fair share of life serving him a steak that was more salt than meat and he had to swallow it down through clenched teeth, burning his throat and making him twitch to his core. He wished he could just throw it up, but then he’d have to clean up the vomit.And somehow, for whatever reason, the universe wasn’t done with him yet, because oxygen continued to flow through his lungs and his heart beat in his chest with and then without the glow sitting in his sternum. Through thicker and thinner, Tony was able to live.-or-Life sucks, Tony's a mess, marries Pepper, and is still a mess.-OR-My take on the events of Tony's life after the Snap and before Endgame, i.e. the 5 years.





	life finds a way

The average human lifespan is a whopping seventy-nine years.* In this window of time where a person exists, they come away with a handful, sometimes two, of life-changing moments. Sometimes life is kind and it gently presses a kiss to your forehead, granting you pieces of time where you laugh and cry and there’s a warmth in your chest that feels as though it’s just come out of the dryer. These moments are so incredibly vital and purely human that it has become ingrained into each person that “ _this,_ this right here” is the sole purpose of why we live.

 

But sometimes, life is cruel, and with its sharp talons, it punctures your skin and it tears and rips and pulls until there is bone and it still doesn’t stop. It scratches at your rib cage and scoops out your insides until you’re nothing but dust scattered among the dirt. The feeling of hollowness is simply an old friend at this point. It barges in without taking off its shoes and props up its feet, and it always keeps you company despite demanding beer and the TV remote.

 

Tony Stark is a man that could say that he has lived it all. He’s had more than his fair share of life serving him a steak that was more salt than meat and he had to swallow it down through clenched teeth, burning his throat and making him twitch to his core. He wished he could just throw it up, but then he’d have to clean up the vomit.

 

And somehow, for whatever reason, the universe wasn’t done with him yet, because oxygen continued to flow through his lungs and his heart beat in his chest with and then without the glow sitting in his sternum. Through thicker and thinner, Tony was able to live.

 

Even being a genius and considered perhaps the most brilliant man on Earth, Tony couldn’t wrap his head around why he was still around. He wasn’t suicidal, even if he’s thought about it on several occasions, but the fact that he has banged on Death’s door more times than he can count and Death hasn’t opened up yet? He chalked it up to Death having a stubbornness that rivaled his own. Or, at least Death could have a “gone out to lunch and will be back at this time” sign hanging from the doorknob.

 

It wasn’t until Tony took a breath and stepped back that he caught a glimpse of what life has been trying to give him. And Tony was scared. Life has a tendency to wrap its arms around him in a tender embrace and Tony would end up walking away with a knife in his back. The thing about Tony was that he was always willing to forgive, and as much as the man hated it, even with the metal walls he’d set up to protect himself, his heart was always too soft.

 

He saw it during dinner.

 

 

 

Friday had easily become Tony’s favorite day because that meant Peter was coming to spend the weekend with him at the compound. Tony has always liked the kid, but it wasn’t until after the whole Vulture incident that he decided to step up and finally be a more active mentor. All it took was a phone call.

 

Elbow deep and six cups of coffee into a new evolution of the Iron Man suit, Tony strings up some courage and speaks up, "FRIDAY, call the kid for me would ya?"

 

"Dialing Peter Parker," FRIDAY responds.

 

“Oh thank God you called!” Peter’s excitable voice answers after a few rings. Tony opened his mouth to say something but was quickly cut off. “Listen, I need an outsider’s perspective on this, I was planning on auditioning for _The Voice_ next week and I’ve been practicing Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus all day and I need your opinion. Tell me what you think.”

 

Honestly, Tony was too surprised by the randomness of Peter Parker that it made his face scrunch up puzzledly. Tony hears some snickering in the background and he takes this opportunity to open his mouth. “Wow, I didn’t know you could sing, kid. Not too bad but pitch seems to be a bit off. Lemme guess, you practice in the shower? Not the best acoustics in there.”

 

“M-Mr. Stark?”

 

“Speaking,” Tony smirked triumphantly at Peter’s muffled groan of embarrassment, like he pressed his mouth against the sleeve of his sweater. He can imagine Peter’s face, a shade of beet red and silently pleading for the earth to swallow him whole. Tony has to bite back a laugh. There's some shuffling around on Peter's end, followed by a nearby voice exclaiming, _"Holy crap dude, you're on the phone with Iron Man?!"_ Peter quickly shushes the voice.

 

“Man—uh, Mr. Stark, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize this was your number. I thought this was some telemarketer, they usually hang up on me halfway through my spiel,” Peter replies hurriedly and Tony envisions the teenager’s messy mop of curls on his head from having run his hand through it nervously. He hears Peter mutter, “Holy crap, this is not embarrassing at all.”

 

“You know, I didn’t take you for a Miley Cyrus fan. Guess that’s the last time I judge a book by its cover,” Tony teases and Peter responds with another groan.

 

“Please, Mr. Stark, I’m already wishing I was dead enough as it is,” Tony laughs at his mentee’s plight, not regretting it whatsoever.

 

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you something. You got a minute?” He could practically feel Peter light up, the flush of embarrassment passing just as quickly as it came.

 

“Yeah! Yeah, I can talk. I’m at lunch right now and I’ll have to get to class soon but I’m free for a few minutes. Is there something wrong? Does this involve the internship?” Peter’s voice becomes hushed at the last question.

 

“Internship, yes, but I’m not calling you about a mission, if that’s what you were oh-so hoping for,” Tony tried to brush over Peter’s disappointed sigh but he just couldn’t bring himself to leave it. “Listen, kid, when I need you for a mission I’ll let you know, scout’s honor.”

 

“Really?” Peter asks eagerly. He sounded so young, like Tony had just promised to take him for ice cream later, and Tony felt a string of his heart be tugged.

 

“Yeaaah, really. Look, I’m calling you because I want you to come to the compound this Friday. I need to do a lil’ maintenance check on your suit, make sure it’s still in working order. You free?”

 

Tony was barely able to get his last word out before Peter answered, “Yes!” Tony chuckles quietly as Peter clears his throat, seeming to gather himself. “I mean, yeah, yes. I’m available Friday after school. I’ll just have to let Aunt May know.”

 

“Great, I’ll have Happy pick you up. Oh, and kid?”

 

“Yeah, Mr. Stark?”

 

“I’m expecting to hear that cover of Wrecking Ball when you get here,” Peter abruptly hangs up and Tony laughs.

 

The teenager started coming over every Friday after school. At first, awkwardness was very apparent between both parties. Tony didn’t really know what to do with the kid besides talk about Peter’s suit and that only lasted one and a half lab sessions. Peter was just nervous about impressing his idol in between the bouts of being star-struck and he was already a socially awkward adolescent.

 

But Tony Stark isn’t a quitter and so he went to the most brilliant person he knows, besides himself of course.

 

“Are you spending time with him?” Pepper asks softly one night, while they’re both relaxing in bed. Tony had expressed to her his predicament and she had set the StarkPad down beside her on the nightstand.

 

“Of course I am! Every Friday afternoon, we’re workin’ in the lab. The kid is great, crazy smart, but I can’t help but feel like I should be doing more,” he lays his head back against the headboard, trying to fend off the defeat that wants to lap at his bones.

 

“Maybe I’m just not cut out for this whole mentor thing,” he mutters. At hearing this, Pepper fully turns towards him, gripping Tony’s shoulders. She stares at him pointedly, a determined glint in her eyes.

 

“Anthony Edward Stark,” Pepper starts firmly and Tony knows she means business. “You are the most capable person I know and if there’s one thing you can figure out, it’s how to be a good mentor. You’re already doing great, you just need to try something else. Actually _spend_ time with Peter, not just exist in the same room. Why don’t you find something you can work on together? Something that _doesn’t_ involve hero business?”

 

Almost immediately, the genius is struck with an idea and he quickly pecks a kiss on Pepper’s cheek. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"

 

That Friday, Peter walked into Tony’s private lab to see the entire surface of the center table covered in 90s computers and other spare parts. Tony pops up from behind the table with a huge grin on his face, lifting his hand in a wave.

 

“Spiderling! Glad you’re here. Set your stuff down in the corner, I got somethin' fun for us to work on.” Placing his backpack down, Peter walks over to the table, examining all of the old dusty computer parts scattered about.

 

“What’s going on here, Mr. Stark?” Peter asks curiously, picking up an integrated circuit. “Are you opening an antique shop for nerds?”

 

Tony scoffs. “First of all, this tech here?” He sweeps his arm over the so-called ancient technology. “Revolutionary. The entirety of my twenties,” Tony ignores how that statement dates him and Peter raises an eyebrow.

 

“Second of all, you’re the biggest nerd I know so you may wanna zip it, just sayin’,” Peter snorts and then shrugs nonchalantly. Tony claps his hands together, smiling at the dust-coated machines before locking eyes with Peter. “So kiddo, I decided that we need a fun project to work on. And what can be more fun than building a computer from scratch with tech from several grandparents’ attics.”

 

Peter laughs. “Wow, this actually sounds kinda fun.”

 

“You betcha. The challenge is that we gotta make this computer be able to run…” Tony trails off, thinking of something, before snapping his fingers. “You like video games, right? A video game. Any _modern_ game you want. You name it and the computer will have to run it, well. What do you say?”

 

Tony is a grown man. He has fought aliens and gone to space and he’s seen just about everything. But seeing Peter’s eyes _literally_ sparkle with glee and the dopey lopsided smile he receives has got to be the most precious thing Tony has ever seen. Warmth blooms in his chest as Peter nods, excitement seeming to make him vibrate.

 

“I’d love that, Mr. Stark!”

 

Tony replies with a smile, “Let’s get to work then.”  

 

And that was that.

 

Tony has many regrets but one was not getting closer to Peter sooner. Their little Friday lab sessions soon turned into weekend sessions and when Peter would leave back to Queens on Sunday nights, Tony would count the minutes until Friday afternoon.

 

It was a Friday of all days where Tony recognized that life was placing a band-aid over his battered heart. It had been months since the events in Siberia and Ross was calling him everyday about the “Rogue Avengers”. Tony was exhausted from reading and rereading the documents going towards amending the Accords. Whenever the man blinked, he saw strings of words imprinted behind his eyelids.

 

He was sitting at the long dining table in the compound eating dinner. Pepper was on his left and Peter was on his right. Peter was retelling to them a story about his adventures as Spider-Man, wildly gesticulating and the couple could feel the air from Peter’s movements. And despite the stress from everything weighing down heavily on Tony’s shoulders, he took a breath.

 

Then, he saw it.

 

He saw Peter, an intelligent, bubbly kid with a heart of gold who always tries his best. His brown eyes were bright with warmth and youth and his smile was unfailingly sincere. Tony wondered who in the entire universe would let him have a kid as good as he is.

 

He saw Pepper, the kindest, most caring and most determined woman he has ever had the pleasure of knowing. Her strawberry blonde hair had been in a bun all day and now they fall around her face, framing the softness of her features. She squeezes his hand underneath the table and gives him a smile that never fails to make his heart flutter. Tony wondered who in the entire universe would let him deserve a woman as good as she is.

 

The most important people in Tony’s life were right next to him in a manner that was so familial, so domestic… so peaceful. It was like navigating through a foreign country, it was almost unreal.

 

Tony had never considered himself one for the domestic life. He wasted away the majority of his youth partying, drinking, gambling and then waking up the next morning to a new face in his bed. Not to mention that lurking in the depths of Tony’s mind was the insecurity that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it came to his own upbringing and his father’s A+ parenting. He would never put a child through what he went through.

 

And yet, having Pepper and Peter beside him filled a void that Tony didn't even realize existed. No amount of money could ever hope to sustain it.

 

Tony smiled, fully embracing the band-aid that life was placing upon him, and he let himself begin to heal.

 

That was Tony’s mistake.

 

* * *

 

 

They say that ripping off the band-aid is better than slowly peeling it from your skin. But the action is harsh and it barely leaves you anytime to think, to breathe, and if the injury is not healed then there’s nothing to stop the blood flow.

 

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

Soft spoken and full of pain, those two words ring in Tony’s ears as the once comforting weight in his arms disintegrates into ashes. Life, once again, but this time in the form of Thanos, rips off the band-aid and nothing bleeds out of Tony’s heart because that disappeared when his kid did. Hollowness has never felt this invasive, snaking its way throughout Tony’s entire being, and he feels numb. He wishes he would just cry, a release of some sort, but there’s nothing left except an empty shell of who he used to be and so he holds his head in his hands instead.

 

_“Why couldn’t you save me, Mr. Stark?”_

 

_“This is all your fault your fault your fault your fau-”_

 

Tony startles awake, as it was a part of his daily routine. He inhales sharply, catching a whiff of Pepper’s argan oil conditioner, and counts to three before releasing a shaky breath. He repeats this process until he no longer sees Peter’s pained expression and his ash covered hands. The man wipes the sweat from his brow and turns to see the time.

 

**SATURDAY   |   JUNE 9  2018   |   2:58 a.m.**

 

“It’s too early for this,” Tony mumbles under his breath and his eyes wander over to the soft breathing form of the woman beside him. Tony’s heart clenches and he couldn’t help but gently gather her in his arms, pulling her close to him. Even in her sleep, she turns to face him and presses her forehead against Tony’s collarbone before relaxing in his hold. Tony feels the tension in his bones ebb away with the comforting warmth in his arms. He presses a kiss into Pepper’s hair before letting his suddenly heavy eyelids droop shut.

 

It had been over a month since the events of the Snap and Thanos’ anti-climactic end. The world was 3.75 billion people lighter and those that remained laid about in shambles, having to pick up their own pieces. Everyone was roaming around like mindless zombies, letting routine control their actions. It didn’t always work.

 

Tony let the team (no one dared to call themselves the Avengers anymore) stay at the compound but it wasn’t long before they had all gone their separate ways, too self absorbed in their own grief and failings. Tony couldn’t blame them.

 

The next time Tony opens his eyes and sees the time, it reads **6:49 a.m.** He sighs, holding Pepper against him. He whispers softly, “FRI, open the blinds just a smidge, let some light in,” FRIDAY obeys, sunlight streaming in through the cracks and illuminating their bedroom. At that, Pepper stirs, blinking awake. Tony smiles down at her.

 

“Mornin’ Pep.” He murmurs. Pepper returns the smile, rubbing at her eye, and snuggles closer to him.

 

“Good morning to you too. Did you sleep alright?” She asks, a hint of concern in her voice. Tony hasn’t been sleeping much, if at all. It took forever to ~~physically drag by the ear~~  convince him to come to bed the night prior. While Tony never said it aloud, she knew he was having nightmares about what happened on Titan.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” comes Tony’s reply but Pepper gives him a look and he’s quick to add, “Woke up a few hours ago but I was able to catch a few more Zs,” she hums in response in spite of the dark circles underneath his eyes and the deep lines in his face. They fall silent, listening to the other’s breathing.

 

“I should probably get to work soon,” Pepper whispers. But she doesn’t move and Tony just holds her tighter.

 

Before he realizes what he’s saying, words flow from his mouth, “I’m so tired, Pep,” he ignores the way his voice breaks and Pepper’s chest tightens in sympathy. It doesn’t escape her the hidden meaning lining his words and she nods understandably. She’s always so understanding.

 

“I know, babe,” she responds, wrapping her arms tighter around him. He rolls his lips between his teeth and grips her back, burying his face into her long hair.

 

It wasn’t that he had lost hope. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was an inkling of it, the feeling that all those who disappeared weren’t really gone. If Tony were a marionette puppet, hope and Pepper were the strings keeping him upright. But even with that, defeat was a heavy weight dragging him down and he was exhausted. There was only one way to go at this point and that is forward.

 

Even if it hurts.

 

“Let’s run off and get married,” he blurts out. Pepper blinks, processing his words before looking up. Tony was looking off passed her and then suddenly he was sitting up, drawing Pepper up with him. They lock eyes, Tony grabbing her hand and running his thumb over her knuckles.

 

“Pepper… I don’t-” he hesitates and she squeezes his hand encouragingly. “You know when you’re playing Candy Crush and you’re on this nightmarishly hard level and you try and try and try and you just can’t get it, even if you’re,” he raises his hand and juts his index finger and thumb out to show a minuscule amount, “this close? So you throw your phone at the wall and you go take a breather?” he finishes, lowering his hand. Pepper nods, even though confusion pinches her face.

 

“Well that’s where I’m at right now. I’m tired of playing this game. I gotta keep moving because I don’t know what else to do. And if I don’t do it now, I’ll never get around to it,” Tony bites his lip, feeling just a tad bit lighter with the confession. Pepper throws him a soft smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling slightly.

 

“Moving forward is what you do best, Tony,” she states and he huffed a laugh. He runs his hands over her arms.

 

“Look Pep, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I should’ve done more and now Pete-” he releases a breath. “The kid’s gone and so is half the universe and that’s on me.”

 

“Tony-” Pepper breaths, ready to argue, but he holds up a finger in protest.

 

“Let me finish. Please,” he requests and Pepper presses her lips into a line. “What I’m trying to say is that my first decision moving forward can not, _will_ not, be a mistake. At the end of the day, I just…” he finds himself trailing off as he continues to stare into Pepper’s kind blue eyes. He cannot even _begin_ to describe the amount of love he has for her and his earlier decision fortifies that. Tony nods to himself, more sure than before. “I want to be able to call you Mrs. Virginia “Pepper” Stark, my beautiful, lovely wife.”

 

There are unshed tears in Pepper’s eyes now and her smile is so wide and purely joyful that it melts Tony’s heart. She glances down at their intertwined hands before looking back up and searching his face. She must’ve found what she was looking for and after a beat of silence, Tony’s heart pounding in his chest, she nods approvingly.

 

“You know, I was getting pretty tired deciding the seating chart,” she smirks fondly and then Tony’s closing the distance between them, their lips meeting halfway.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony assures his wife-to-be that he’d take care of all of it as she makes her way out the door to Stark Industries. It only took a handful of phone calls and they were set for the officiant to meet them at a private lake for the ceremony the next day. Now, it was time to call some witnesses.

 

Rhodey was the first person Tony called.

 

“‘Bout time,” Rhodey chuckles on the line. “Honestly, I’m surprised you guys didn’t do this sooner.”

 

“You and me both,” Tony lets out a small laugh. A silent moment passes.

 

“I’m happy for you, man. I really am. You deserve it,” Tony understands his friend’s underlying words, nodding to himself.

 

“Thanks, Platypus. I gotta make a few more calls but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“See ya then.”

 

Happy was the second person Tony thinks of, and knowing he was currently driving Pepper to work, he shoots Pepper a text requesting her to ask for Happy’s presence at the ceremony. Pepper responds with a thumbs up and Tony texts back his thanks in the form of heart emojis.

 

The last person Tony thinks of brings him pause. His thumb hovers over the call button but his eyes stare at the name below it. _Peter Parker_ reads the contact profile and he looks over at the profile picture set. He hesitantly taps on the photo, the memories flooding back to him as the picture enlarges.

 

 

 

Tony had treated Peter for lunch and with full bellies, they decided to take a little stroll along Pier 45 at Hudson River Park. It was a nice day, the sun shining on their backs and a light breeze ruffling tufts of their hair. Unsurprisingly, there were people everywhere and Peter was feeling only slightly self conscious as he was walking around with _the_ Tony Stark. He didn’t want to possibly taint his idol’s reputation. He could already see the headlines: “TONY STARK’S SECRET LOVE CHILD?!” Peter stuffs his hands into his jean pockets. Tony could feel Peter’s nervous energy come off him in waves.

 

“Pete, relax,” Tony places a hand on the teenager’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “No one’s gonna bother us or anything, I’m _the_ master of disguise around these parts.”

 

Peter looks over at his mentor, pulling a face. “Really?” Incredulity colors his voice as he looks at Tony’s outfit of the day. “I hope you know sunglasses and a baseball cap as a disguise only works in, like, old cheesy spy films. The Nyan Cat shirt doesn’t help either.”

 

Peter has a wry smile on his face at seeing the cat with the Pop-Tart body peeking out behind Tony’s blazer.

 

“Hey, you very well know this is my favorite shirt,” Tony quips, poking at Peter’s face and he’s quick to squander the thought of how adorably squishy his cheek is as Peter sends him a half-hearted glare.

 

“Well, has anyone recognized me yet?” Tony spreads his arms out, gesturing to the people around them.

 

“ _Yet_ , Mr. Stark, the keyword is yet.”

 

“Pshhh, for all people know, we’re just an ordinary father and son talking a nice walk together.”

 

“Exactly!” Peter exclaims, throwing his arms up. “I just… don’t want people getting the wrong idea and tainting your image,” Tony lets out a hearty laugh.

 

“Kid, do you know who I am? I taint my image plenty on my own, I don’t need your help with that,” Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders and the boy fits against his side. “And so what if people think I’m your old man? You’re my kid,” Tony’s casualness seems to catch Peter off guard and he grins at Peter’s red face.

 

“Whatever you say, Mr. Stark,” Peter mutters, seeming to not know how else to respond. Tony pats his arm fondly, glad he was able to quiet down Peter’s insecurities for a little while. He’ll have to work with the kid on that.

 

They walk together in a comfortable silence, taking in the sounds and the water swaying beside them, before Peter spots an ice cream cart. All it takes is one set of puppy eyes and Tony’s at the cart buying two chocolate-dipped cones, one with and without peanuts. The man running the cart receives a hefty tip that day. Taking their ice cream over to the railing, they lean over the metal fence, Peter’s cone already missing its top half. Tony was looking over the water before Peter calls his name.

 

“Say cheese, Mr. Stark!” Tony is quick to act, putting his arm around Peter and throwing up a peace sign, the ice cream clutched in his other hand. He puts on an easy smile and he sees in Peter’s phone camera his boyishly toothy grin before the screen flashes white.

 

“One more, just in case,” Peter says and right before he presses the screen button is when the enemy attacks.

 

Out of thin air, a blur of white shoots across Tony’s vision and he jumps back with a yelp, clutching at his chest at the sudden heart attack. The offended man looks up to see a seagull flying off, its squawks taunting him. Tony swears, noticing the ice cream that used to be in his hand now belongs to the wooden pier, already melting through the cracks. He shakes his head and looks over to his strangely silent company.

 

Peter is doubled over, gripping the railing for support. Protectiveness is quick to replace his previous annoyance and he rushes to the kid’s side. Placing a hand on his back, Tony leans down to try and see Peter’s face.

 

“Kiddo? What’s wrong?” He questions. Even with the tint of his sunglasses, he can tell Peter’s face is a deep red and on the cusp of turning blue. “Pete? You’re allowed to breathe ya know,” he tries to tease but distress eats away at him. Suddenly, Peter’s gasping for air like he’s bursting out of water and the next sound out of his mouth isn’t what Tony expects.

 

Peter Parker _howls._

 

The teenager’s roaring laughter fills the air as he throws his head back, landing flat on his butt. Tony pulls away, taken aback, and he crosses his arms over his chest defensively. Peter doesn't seem to notice as he continues to roll around on the floor, gripping his laughter-induced cramped stomach. People walk by with confused faces at the scene and Tony just rolls his eyes fondly. The kid had only minutes earlier complained about attracting attention and yet here he was.

 

After what felt like forever, Peter's laughter starts to quiet down into chuckles as he wipes some tears from his eyes. Tony couldn't help but grin down stupidly at the sight.

 

“You good, kid?” He asks, no longer concerned. Peter looks up at him with a big smile, trying to keep himself composed at seeing Tony's face. He coughs to smother over the giggles that wanted to burst out of the bubble in his chest.

 

“Y-yeah, I'm great, Mr. Stark. I'm sorry, that was just,” Peter holds up an okay sign with his hand, “pure gold.”

 

Peter smiles like an idiot before realizing that he’s been laying down on the wooden pier. He holds his hand out to his mentor. “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

 

Tony just rolls his eyes at the teenager. “I thought I was the old man here,” he mutters, grabbing Peter’s outstretched hand and hoisting the spry boy up.

 

Tony squints at him in mild suspicion. “Don't you have that weird sixth sense thingy? Warn the actual old man here before I keel over of a heart attack.”

 

Peter only shrugs in response, the amused smirk never leaving his face.

 

Later that evening, Peter recounts the entire experience to Pepper over their butter chicken and rice. As offended as Tony tried to seem, he was glad Pepper could have a good, needed laugh. Peter went on to share with them the lovely photos taken, the first one being nice and normal (“This one’s a keeper, send it my way, Petey”), and the second one capturing a moment of chaos (“How much will it take for you to delete that?”). They all laughed at the white blur taking up most of the screen and the beginnings of Tony’s morphed face of despair.

 

 

 

Tony blinks away the tears that had started to form in his eyes, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He taps out of the photo that had caused his trip down memory lane, the bittersweet feeling gnawing at his insides as he navigates back to his initial task. He steels himself before pressing the call button.

 

After several rings, a familiar feminine voice answers, “Hello?”

 

“Hey, May. How’re you doing?” Tony hoped his voice didn’t sound strained.

 

“Tony, hey yourself. I’m doing okay,” she sounded tired. Tony understood. “You?” There’s some shuffling on her end, like she’s adjusting the phone.

 

“Not too bad.”

 

Silence, as though both parties are unsure of what to say. It was like they were kids in school that only talked and hung out because of their mutual friend and this mutual friend was home sick. Only for them, they were parents who had lost their child, the only reason they even knew each other. Tony had told Peter all the time that he and May had signed the co-parenting papers, specifically when he would have to ground the young Spiderling (which wasn’t often).

 

After returning from space and a slow recovery from the closest brush to death Tony’s ever had, the first person Tony had to see was May Parker. Pepper was beside him the entire time, offering her support through knee pats and hand squeezes. Not that the man really noticed them. His mind was far from planet Earth as they made the drive to the Parker’s apartment.

 

And _God_ was it the hardest conversation Tony has ever had.

 

He expected screaming and hitting, he _deserved it_ after the fact that Tony couldn’t even save the one life that mattered most. May lifted her arms and he shut his eyes tightly, ready for the onslaught. But instead, slender arms wrapped around Tony in a way only a mother could and when she whispered, “I’m so sorry, Tony,” it broke through the numbness that kept his body hostage and the floodgates were opened.

 

This is the first time they’ve spoken since then. It felt awkward, _wrong_ , without the boy they both came to love between them.

 

“Tony? Are you alright?” May’s soft voice broke the silence, ripping Tony’s attention back to the phone call. He massages his temples with his other hand as he lets out a sigh.

 

“Ya know, I was just thinking… about that time Peter and I took that walk on Pier 45.”

 

“I remember Peter telling me about that. He had a hard time because he was laughing so much,” May herself trails off into chuckles, Tony along with her. “The story was funny but the fact that he was just so tickled by it is what really made me laugh.”

 

Tony nods. “I’ll have you know that that little punk sent me pictures of seagulls for the next month,” May laughs a little harder.

 

“That definitely sounds like Peter,” May replies. Tony has a fond smile stretched over his face, and he imagines May does too.

 

Not for the first time, it hits Tony like a solid punch in the gut that he wouldn't receive texts like that again from Peter. He'll no longer hear his contagious laugh or see his sweet dorky smile or the warmth in his brown eyes. He won't be able to make playful banter or have three in the morning talks about quantum physics with the young mind that could keep up with his own. The feeling of emptiness will always linger in the lab when he sets foot in it on Fridays and sees an empty workstation, a backpack missing from the corner. Everything that made up Peter Benjamin Parker is just... gone. All with a snap of your fingers.

 

"I…" Tony's voice trails off, his spiraling thoughts like knives stabbing him again and again. It aches. The words get caught in his throat because he wants to say them but are they selfish of him? Peter was only in his life for about a year, give or take a few months. It didn't take long for Tony to realize he would do anything and everything for the kid. But May is the one who raised him, who took care of him endlessly. He had no right to compare or even fathom the pain May must be in everyday. So, he didn't dare finish his sentence. May understood anyway.

 

"I miss him too," May expresses, her voice full of grief underneath her gentle tone. Then, "Thank you, Tony."

 

Tony blinks in surprise, a crease appearing between his brows. "What for?"

 

"For making Peter happy. He really loved you. I'm sure he still loves you," May's words are kind, piercing through his heart, and his sad frown becomes a small, genuine smile.

 

"And thank you, Ms. Parker, for raising him and allowing me to make him happy. You're the best co-parent a man could ask for," May laughs lightly at the returned sentiment.

 

Eventually, Tony invites her to his marriage ceremony and she readily agrees, grateful she had third shift.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the big day.

 

Tony and Pepper are speeding down the highway, the only proof of a human touch in between the immaculate forests on either side. The couple keeps sneaking glances at each other, feeling like giddy lovesick teenagers.

 

The private lake property (now under Tony's name) was even more breathless in person. As much as he loves the city, it was time for a change of pace. The serene environment of the lake in the middle of nowhere, with the towering green trees outlining the water, seemed like the perfect spot. He knew Pepper would love it as soon as he saw it (he really hoped so anyway).

 

Fortunately, Tony Stark is always right, and Pepper was rendered utterly speechless. She gasps at the sight as Tony smiles, cruising up the gravel driveway, the rocks crunching underneath the tires. Stopping behind May's parked car, he shifts his car into its proper place before shutting off the engine. Pepper is quick to exit the car, stopping a few feet away to take in the main attraction.

 

The log cabin was made of dark wood, blending in with the surrounding forest. The open wrap-around porch allows for a welcoming, relaxing aura to the cozy house and the large windows permit the natural sunlight to pour in. It was relatively large for just the two of them, but maybe one day there would be little ones taking up some space.

 

Closing the car door, Tony slowly made his way around to Pepper, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her to his side. "So, what d'ya think, Pep?" A second passes and Tony's anxiety takes over.

 

"It's okay if you don't like it, I could always buy another place, wherever you want, just name it and it's ours," the words tumble quickly out of Tony's mouth and Pepper chuckles lightly, patting his hand on her hip.

 

"Tony," she starts firmly, turning her head to look him in the eyes. "It's perfect."

 

"You really like it?"

 

"I love it," she smiles warmly at him and then plants a quick kiss on his cheek. "Now, we better go, we've kept our guests waiting long enough."

 

Hand in hand, they walk over to the small pier by the lake where their guests are gathered. Before he knew it, the love of his life was standing in front of him, the officiant facing towards them. Rhodey, Happy and May were all clad in the appropriate apparel, wearing smiles of their own, standing a few feet away from the gleeful couple.

 

Tony wasn't really paying all that much attention to the officiant’s opening statement. He found himself enraptured by his beautiful wife-to-be.

 

Pepper is wearing a simple white lace dress, the fabric hugging her waist before cascading over her long legs. It wasn't her actual wedding dress but she was beautiful all the same. Her strawberry blonde hair hangs down in ringlets and the make-up she applied that morning makes her blue eyes pop even more.

 

_I don't deserve you._

 

"Pepper and Tony," the officiant looks between them for a moment. "You have prepared vows of commitment to share with one another. Pepper, would you like to go first?"

 

"Tony," she smiles warmly at the man in front of her. Tony's heart races a little faster. "Today I take you to be my husband. As we join our lives together, I vow to be supportive, caring, and honest with you always. I promise to hold you close, to respect you fully, and to love you deeply. As your companion, your partner, and your best friend, I promise to stay by your side through thick and thin. I love you with all my heart, and I plan to remind you of that every day, from this day forward."

 

 _God_ he really wanted to kiss her right now.

 

"Tony, whenever you're ready," the officiant gestures for him to continue. Tony takes a deep breath, attempting to settle his nerves.

 

"Pepper," she raises an eyebrow playfully and he has to hold himself back from snorting. He clears his throat instead. "Today, I take you to be my wife. As we join our lives together, I vow to be supportive, caring, and honest with you always. I promise to cherish you daily, to respect you fully, and to love you deeply. As your companion, your partner, and your best friend, I promise to stay by your side through thick and thin. I love you with all my heart, and I plan to remind you of that every day, from this day forward."

 

"Tony and Pepper, you may now join hands," the officiant permits. Tony slyly wipes his sweaty palms onto his suit pants before taking Pepper's warm hands in his.

 

"Tony, before your family and friends, do you take Pepper as your beloved wife, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?"

 

"I do," Tony's voice cracks like a pubescent teenager's and he feels his face flush at the laughter in the crowd. He clears his throat again. Pepper's eyes sparkle.

 

"And Pepper, before your family and friends, do you take Tony as your beloved husband, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?"

 

"I do," she answers smoothly, so unlike her almost husband.

 

The officiant turns towards Tony, asking, "Do you have the rings?"

 

Tony jumps, scrambling to get the two rings from his jacket pocket. He takes them out, handing one to Pepper.

 

"Wedding rings are a traditional symbol of the strength of the bond between two soulmates," the officiant states. "This bond is never broken, and continues in a perpetual circle, glowing with the warmth and eternal light of two souls in a perfect union. By wearing these rings, you will be always reminded of the connection you share and the vows you have made today."

 

"Please, repeat after me," he nods towards Tony and he straightens.

 

"I, Tony, present you, Pepper, with this ring as a symbol of our everlasting love. Let it never lose its luster, just as my love for you will never fade," Tony finishes the statement and slips the ring onto Pepper's left hand. The gold band shimmers in the sun. The officiant gestures to Pepper now.

 

"I, Pepper, present you, Tony, with this ring as a symbol of our everlasting love. Let it never lose its luster, just as my love for you will never fade," Pepper ends the repetition, grasping Tony's left hand and securing the ring in place.

 

"Tony and Pepper, by the power vested in me by the state of New York, under the eyes of God, I happily pronounce you husband and wife!" The newly weds break into wide matching smiles. "Tony, you may now kiss the bride!"

 

"Finally," the man mutters before drawing his wife close and pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss.

 

As they pull away, the officiant happily declares, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Tony and Pepper Stark!"

 

The small crowd of three erupts into cheers as the couple faces them as husband and wife. Rhodey cups his hands over his mouth and lets out some loud woots.

 

Tony’s eyes scan their company and he couldn’t help but linger at an empty spot next to May. A strong sense of saudade stabs through his chest, and his smile falters.

 

_He should be here._

 

 

 

“What?” Peter breathed incredulity. Tony scratched at his beard, eyes still fixed to the Iron Man gauntlet he was tweaking.

 

“I asked you if you’ll be one of my groomsmen. You know, I’m getting married soon and all that jazz,” Tony turns to look at the kid, a half smile on his face. Peter was looking at him owlishly, the pencil frozen in his hand, his chemistry homework taking the back burner.

 

Peter blinks. “What?”

 

“Christ, kid, what’s the point of having super hearing if it goes through one ear and out the other?” Tony laughs lightheartedly at Peter’s bewildered demeanor.

 

“Well, no! I get what you asked but I’m just, confuzzled, I guess,” Peter shrugs a shoulder.

 

“Confuzzled?”

 

“You know, confused and puzzled together. Confuzzled,” Peter explains and Tony just shakes his head at the teenager’s weirdness.

 

“Okay then,” Tony stands and walks over to where Peter’s stationed, leaning his hip against the side. “Why are you…” he waves his hand around, “confuzzled?”

 

Peter shrugs again somewhat sheepishly. “I don’t know… I mean, please don’t get me wrong, I’m super honored and I really, really want to be in your wedding-”

 

“So what’s the problem?” Tony casually crosses his arms over his chest and Peter seems to shrink back, embarrassed.

 

“Why me? I’m not, like, qualified or anything.”

 

“Oh, I see,” Tony says loudly. “So what are the qualifications of being a groomsman?”

 

“Uhh…” Peter averts his gaze, trailing off, and Tony snorts. He places a hand on Peter’s shoulder and the teenager looks up at him.

 

“Pete,” Tony breathes, leveling him with a firm stare and adding an edge to his already serious tone so as not to leave any room for argument. “I wouldn’t be asking you to be a groomsman if I didn’t really want you there. You’re my kid, and you’re also my friend, and I want you beside me when I marry the love of my life. Capiche?”

 

Peter studies Tony’s face for a moment, daring to see anything that would further feed the dark voice lurking in the shadows of his mind. But he finds nothing of the sort and he takes on a lopsided grin, his large eyes softening with the extra lines in the corners. It’s as contagious as the flu because Tony is quick to smile too, glad that he got through to the kid. Tony would do anything to get Peter’s smile.

 

“Alright, Mr. Stark. But on one condition.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“I get to pick the wedding cake flavor,” Tony laughs lightly, placing a calloused hand on Peter’s head and ruffling his curls. Peter playfully swats at his hand, as if Tony doesn’t know he thrives off of affection, chuckling along.

 

 

 

“Tony?” At hearing his name, the man blinks back to reality. A hand squeezes his and Pepper’s face fills his vision. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t they be?” He forces a smile back on his face, knowing it’s watery but unable to muster the energy to try harder. Pepper frowns at his response, knowing better. Then, she sighs, letting it go for the time being. She tugs on his hand.

 

“Come on, love. Everyone’s inside waiting for us. We gotta cut the cake,” she smirks mischievously and Tony suspects she has a plan that may involve frosting in his nostrils and beard. He holds an elbow out for her to take and she interlinks their arms. They start making their way up to their new home.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Pepper speaks up halfway to their new home.

 

“You just did," Tony replies immediately and Pepper rolls her eyes. Tony lets out a laugh before saying, "Anything for you, Mrs. Stark,” they both smile at the shared last name. He glances at his wife beside him.

 

“I heard the cake is red velvet,” She starts and Tony shrugs nonchalantly.

 

“So what if it is?” Pepper squints at him.

 

“You hate red velvet cake,” she informs her husband and Tony just shrugs again, kicking a pebble off to the side.

 

“I had a change of heart.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sometimes, you just have to take matters into your own hands by sewing yourself shut, wrapping up your own wounds, and putting back the pieces of your overly broken heart with super glue and duct tape.

 

And surrounded by peace, next to the most important person in his life, Tony could feel himself begin to heal. With how life has treated him so far, he was suspicious at first, hesitant that once again it would all be ruined and the band-aid ripped to shreds.

 

But Tony was forgiving to a fault.

 

Nine months later, little Morgan Stark came into the world kicking and screaming bloody murder. The couple’s lives were then riddled with diapers, sleepless nights and swollen hearts and Tony wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

She was the perfect culmination of her parents. Purely sweet, too smart for her own good, and weaponized puppy eyes that she somehow perfected in the short time she’s been in their lives.

 

“Tell me a story,” Morgan pleads one night, the comforter up to her chin. Tony smooths away the stray hairs of her bangs from her little face.

 

“A story? Okay. Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died, the end,” Tony pats her head, grinning, before moving to stand. “Good night, Morgs.”

 

“No! That’s a horrible story!” She protests and Tony sits back down beside her.

 

“What do you mean? It’s a classic,” she pouts and Tony has to hold back a laugh.

 

“Tell me about my big brother,” Tony’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion.

 

“Your big brother?”

 

“Yeah,” she nods, absentmindedly picking at a loose string. “He’s in the kitchen, next to grandpa.”

 

It suddenly dawns on the father. The framed image on the kitchen shelf depicts Tony and Peter, when he officially become an intern at Stark Industries. It had been a coverup for so long, they decided to just go ahead and make it real. They had taken so many “professional” photos for the press that day, both the mentor and mentee wanted something a little silly for themselves. The results were an upside down plaque and bunny ears. A sad smile formed on Tony’s face at the memory.

 

“Mommy told me that before me, you had him,” Morgan stares up at her father with wide eyes, prompting him to continue. He obliges.

 

“His name was Peter,” Tony starts. “I actually found him on YouTube. He was dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants and he stopped a car with his bare hands.”

 

Morgan’s eyes sparkled. “Woah!”

 

“That was my reaction too, kiddie. I found out that he was a superhero and he called himself Spider-Man,” Morgan makes a face at that.

 

“But spiders are creepy crawlies,” she sticks her tongue out.

 

“They are, but he was cool. He had sticky fingers and could climb up walls, and he swung around the whole city with his webs,” Tony smiles at the thought of Peter’s energetic personality, swinging between alleyways for hours at a time, helping old ladies cross the street.

 

“He was kind and smart and brave. He helped anyone who needed him,” Tony brushed his knuckles along his daughter’s cheek, noting the way she blinked deeply.

 

“Did he help you, Daddy?” She questioned, her voice soft and small. Tony pauses.

 

“Yes, very much.”

 

“Where is he?” Tony bit the inside of his cheek, feeling the familiar pang in his chest whenever it involved Peter.

 

“He’s… away. I don’t know when he’ll be back. But I know one day, you’ll get to meet him. He’d love you just as much as I do, that’s for sure,” Tony presses a kiss to the little girl’s forehead before standing up, ignoring the way his knees popped.

 

“If you love him, I love him,” Morgan declares sleepily, snuggling further underneath the comforter. Tony flips the light switch, the room cast into darkness.

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

 

“... Do you miss him?”

 

A breath. A dull ache.

 

“Every day.”

 

“Tell me more?”

 

“Sure thing, pumpkin. Ask me about the boat story tomorrow, okay? Now go to sleep or else you won’t get that death ray.”

 

She giggles. “M’kay, good night, love you.”

 

“Love you too.” _So much._

 

He shuts the door softly, glancing at the other bedroom door down the hall. He hesitates for a second before making his way towards it. His hand lingers on the doorknob and then twists it open.

 

He walks inside, making sure to shut the door behind him. He flips the light switch on, cascading the room in a soft yellow light. Tony’s eyes adjust to the sudden influx of information, taking in the bedroom.

 

The walls were painted a plain white, to be changed at anytime, but they were covered in _Star Wars_ and various _Avengers_ posters. There was a wood loft bed in the corner, housing a mattress on the top bunk and a desk underneath, a computer sitting on top and tools in the drawers. In the other corner of the room was a flat screen TV on a stand filled with video games and consoles of all kinds, bean bag chairs across from it. The closet door was ajar, letting Tony see some t-shirts poking out, and he knew there were lots of nerdy puns and Iron Man logos printed on the fronts.

 

It was the perfect room for a teenage boy.

 

Just in case, if he ever came back.

 

But in the back of his mind, Tony knew.

 

It was not a matter of _if_.

 

It was a matter of _when_.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *as of writing this story ^^
> 
> Ya know when you come up with an idea and you start writing the build up to it but then your build up becomes way longer than you originally thought? Yeah, that's what happened here haha. I had fun writing this though! It's my longest piece yet. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and all of the kudos and comments! <333
> 
> Shout out to my wonderful, beautiful, amazing beta reader [@beemoonie](https://beemoonie.tumblr.com/)! Love you 3000!!!
> 
> By the way, here's [the dress](https://www.lunss.com/uploads/product/2/Q/2Q001/Ivory-Simple-Straps-V-neck-Floor-length-Tulle-A-line-Beach-Wedding-Dress-at-Outlet-Price-1.jpg) that I imagined Pepper wearing :)


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